NAMES: Larry & Laura Putney
Laura: Hello, my name is Laura Putney. I am 44 years old and have been married to Larry for almost 24 years. We have one son, Evan who will soon be 21 years old. I have been part of Giving Light for about 26 years. This is the place I found my purpose, my niche, my calling. I love that I worked and experienced things I did not like in order to find what I love to do: giving, sharing, enouraging, helping individules and small businesses with financial organization. I also love learning all I can about God’s Word concerning financial advancement.
Larry: Hi, my name is Lawrence B. Putney II. You can just call me Larry. I am 44 years old & have been married to my beautiful wife Laura for about 24 years. We have an awesome 21 year old son named Evan. I work in printing at a small shop about 2 blocks from our house, so I walk to work! The best part about where I work is that the owner and most of the employees are Christians! We do work for all, but about 60 percent is for various Christian camps and organizations. I also repair & build computers on the side.
IF YOUR MARRIAGE WAS A TELEVISED SITCOM, WHAT WOULD YOU TITLE IT AND WHY?
Laura: “Everyone Loves Raymond.” Well, Raymond was real.. He made many mistakes, he loved in his own way and he laughed through some issues when others would have quit. This is marriage… You are going to make mistakes, all part of growing together. You will learn how to love in your special way and how to forgive all those mistakes. Plus, remember to laugh, enjoy and be real.
Larry: “7th Heaven.” Our marrage is well, awesome. Now, it wasn’t always this way. I was more thinking of the title. In it we both wanted to give up WAY more than just 7 times. But each time we stayed and worked out, we got closer. Now, it is 7th Heaven… or close enough!
LOVE IS AT TIMES A SACRIFICE. NAME ONE ACTIVITY FOR EACH OF YOU THAT YOU WOULD DO FOR YOUR SPOUSE THAT YOU WOULD PREFER NOT TO DO.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUALITY THAT YOUR SPOUSE POSSESSES?
Laura: WOW! Just one…?! Cannot do just one, he possess so many. I must brag… He is loyal, kind, a great listener, one to do things in excellence, but I think my favorite is he is honest. He speaks with such authority and truth, but so sweet and gentle to uplift and not tear down. He is my sounding board. When I need some honest feedback, he is my person.
Larry: Just one…that is hard. Maybe more than one. She is amazing, beautiful, kind, respectful, and loves to give and bless others. She is to me the proverbs 31 woman (Proverbs 31:10-31).
HOW DO YOU AS A MARRIED COUPLE AFFIRM THE STRENGTHS IN ONE ANOTHER? ON THE OTHER HAND, HOW DO YOU COMMUNICATE AND CONFRONT WEAKNESSES IN LOVE?
Laura: We once watched a video called Love & Respect by Emerson Eggrich. He spoke to this on how a wife is to affrim her husband. Let me tell you…it was life changing. I started looking for his strengths instead of pointing out all his weeknesses. If you truly are focused on affirming, complimenting, and uplifting them, there will be an open door for those times to speak into the weaknesses you as a wife might see. If your heart is to respect and help, then he will then reciprocate with love.
Larry: Many times at night before bed or in the morning we will talk about the day we had or what is coming up. We try not to talk when we are mad—that NEVER ends well! So we have a rule: if one of us is getting upset at what the other is saying, we say: “I love you, but I’m not LIKING you very much right now.” That is our caution/stop signal. We agree to part rooms and cool off. Nothing is worse and cuts deeper than words spoken in anger by the one we love. Better to “retreat” and calm down than to cut each other to pieces! Come back and talk about it later with the realization that they love you and you love them! It helps.
HOW DO YOU DEVELOP SPIRITUAL INTIMACY WITH JESUS PERSONALLY AND AS A COUPLE?
Laura: Personally, I am not a big reader, but love how God’s word comes to life when I read it. I have moments when a song will just overwhelm me and I see how God uses that to advance me through the words. I have come to have a Holy repsect for the Holy Spirit like never before—a deeper, more intimate revelation of His presence in my life. As a married couple, we love to listen to messages together. It is a time to learn but also sparks conversations I have come to love. Our opinions and revelation of what was spoken ignites such passion and growth in both of us.
Larry: Personally, I love music. Sometimes I like to get by myself and just worship God. I used to feel guilty that I didn’t pray 30 minutes a day. Then God got a hold of me one day as I was walking to work. He said, “You see me in all of creation around you and we talk all the time right?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “What is prayer?” I said, “Talking to you.” He said, “And we talk… all the time…” Then the light came on and I realized that I was walking and talking with God all day long! Having and walking with an attitude of prayer and reading the word is key.
As a couple, we listen to teaching CDs and talk about the message taught. Sometime we also get into some good conversations before bed, in the kitchen, or, well anywhere really about what we see God doing. It is a lot of fun!
PHILIPPIANS 2:3 STATES, “DO NOTHING OUT OF SELFISH AMBITION OR VAIN CONCEIT. RATHER, IN HUMILITY VALUE OTHERS ABOVE YOURSELVES.” EXPLAIN THE ROLE OF HUMILITY IN THE LIFE OF A CHRISTIAN MARRIED COUPLE.
Laura: Saying I am sorry. The first half of our marriage, I never wanted to say I was sorry, or that I was wrong. Well, I was, and caused so many years of discord. Recognizing that you have never done marriage before with this person and that many mistakes are going to be made is a HUGE revelation and can save many years of heartache. “I am Sorry…” It’s that simple.
Larry: “Nobody is perfect, especially me.” Good words to remember! This is coming from a “C” or perfectionist personality—ME. I have to guard not only what I say, but also what I think of others. Why does it matter what I think? Well, it works like tinted sunglasses. How I think of my wife affects what I “see” in her. Thinking critical thoughts about her WILL affect how I treat her and WILL interfere with our marrage. I, instead choose to see her in the beauty and perfection that God Himself put in her. I am humbled that God put me with her!
MY MOMMA ONCE TOLD ME THAT “NOT EVERY BATTLE IS WORTH FIGHTING.” CAN YOU EXPLAIN HOW COMPROMISE IS IMPORTANT IN MARRIAGE? AT THE SAME TIME, HOW DO YOU ESTABLISH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES WHEN AT TIMES, COMPROMISE ISN’T ALWAYS THE BEST ANSWER?
Laura: Compromise is not giving in, which I always felt it was. I have come to learn that waiting is a good thing. I am one who likes things done yesterday and if possible sooner than that. So with being married to one who likes things to work out in their own time, it can bring many battles. BUT with much prayer and respect for my husband, I have learned to have an open heart and mind on waiting. We did make a decisoin years ago that on anything BIG (house, car, moving, giving) we do nothing until we agree. One time it took 3 months for a situation to come to completion. I am so glad I waited. God truly blessed us in the waiting.
Larry: Compromise…is like a good oil change! Marriage is not all compromise, but without it, like a car…your marriage WILL break! I love my wife beyond words, but we are two completely different people. Compromise is what keep us from falling apart and also helps keep the “temperature” or arguments DOWN!
IF YOU WERE SPEAKING IN FRONT OF A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE FULL OF NEWLYWEDS, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
Laura: DO NOT GIVE UP!!! With all those thoughts of, “What were you thinking God?!!” He truly has a plan for marriage. We could not see the plan God had for our marriage until we got out of the way and allowed God to orchistrate His design, His purpose and His destiny for our marriage.
Larry: First point: every marriage comes to a point, sometimes more than once, when you BOTH are either going to MAKE it work, or give up on each other. Giving up is easy & can be very tempting. Staying & working it out… Well, that will be VERY hard. Why? Because it requires BOTH to humble themselves, forgive, & admit that THEY were not always right. As I said, staying is harder, but SO much more rewarding! Anything truly worthwhile in life will cost—your marriage is no different. Salvation is a free gift to us. But it cost Jesus His life! You both will need to give to your marriage if you want to receive. When you BOTH choose to work it out, you WILL become so much closer & stronger as a married couple! I am closer to my wife now than I ever thought possible!
Second point: Miscommunication. I believe it is one of the oldest tricks the enemy uses against marriage. You both MUST learn how to talk to each other. Start by praying together that there would not be any hindrances to your communication as a married couple. It works!
PASTOR STEVE LOVES TO SING SONGS TO ENHANCE THE POINT HE IS TRYING TO MAKE. IN THIS SEASON OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR THEME SONG?
Laura: “Stand Strong” by Moriah Peters. There will be times in every marriage where you want run and quit, but STAND STRONG, God will work everything for your good.
Larry: “Beyond Belief” by a band called Petra. Marriage is not perfect. It is actually very fun, exciting, terrifying, humbling, and an AWESOME journey with the ONE God has brought into your life. Never forget that God put the two of you together for a very good reason! Find that reason together, work hard together, and your marriage will be… “Beyond Belief”.
PLEASE FINALIZE THIS DILEMMA ONCE AND FOR ALL—WHAT IS THE CORRECT WAY TO HANG TOILET PAPER? FROM THE TOP OR FROM THE BOTTOM? WHY?
Laura: TOP. Because I said so!
Larry: TOP. Because SHE said so.